Finicky Eaters, Get Over Yourselves

Planning a dinner party these days can be enough to make you want to hang up your apron for good. Everyone, it seems, has a food issue. Just invite a few guests over and see how they will most certainly wreak havoc upon your menu. It makes you wonder what masochistic streak in you thought it would be fun to have all these finicky people to dinner.

Now before I continue my rant, let me say that I feel lucky to not have any food issues. I can, and unfortunately do, eat everything and so does my husband. I feel sorry for people who have Celiac disease or true food allergies, as I know how serious these problems can be. I don’t for one moment mind accommodating guests with real food-related diseases and/or allergies or people avoiding foods for health reasons.

That being said, I do wonder what was put in the water a few years ago that has made the whole world have at least one, if not a bevy of, made up food issues. "I stay away from gluten entirely" says one person in a rather boastful manner. "Oh, do you have Celiac disease?” I ask. "No" is the reply. Okay, so what is the problem, I think to myself, don’t you know fiber is good for you??? Mangia! Enjoy!

A Frequent Guest

One guest doesn't like one kind of food touching another, so no stews or one-pot meals for him! Another guest doesn’t eat seafood, another is repulsed by meat ... can't even look at it, another avoids sugar, still another dairy … so what’s left? Vegetables I guess … but don’t use any salt please … and by all means, no butter!!!

So now when doing my menu planning I’ve decided to pretend that, instead of humans, I’ve invited the rabbits, gophers and deer that roam my backyard. What would you like for dinner Mr. Rabbit? Perhaps some carrots and celery sprinkled with parsley? And Ms. Doe, what can I make for you? I’ve noticed you’ve devoured practically everything in my shade garden. Would you like a little vinaigrette on those hostas and hydrangeas? Oh, you’re allergic to olive oil? I’ll make a note of that.

People don’t realize how lucky they are to only have pretend food problems. My Celiac friend truly suffers when she has an attack. She would like nothing more than to be able to enjoy a slice of real pizza or a chunk of crusty French bread.

Why are there so many food allergy wannabes out there? I don't know and I just don’t get it … now pass me the bread and I’ll have another piece of that fish….